Pornography Addiction amongst Muslims

It's odd the things one stumbles across on the internet, but this one is really fascinating: http://muslimmatters.org/2007/08/19/pornogrpahy-addiction-among-muslims-stories-tips/

It talks about muslims with porn addictions. It is interesting to read how they approach fighting the addiction, and how it is all in their own strength. So much of what they talk about in fighting the addiction is similar to what Christians would suggest in terms of praying more, doing more spiritual disciplines, drawing away from the world etc. But Jesus is missing, and the admission that they cannot change themselves is missing.

Really sadly there are many that talk about how they need to go and do extra good deeds to balance out their sins of lust. And they talk about fear of Allah being the major motivation for not continuing in this sin.

There's also testimony from a muslim wife about how she copes with her husband's problem, all without the agape of Christ in her to love her husband and support him in his struggle. She feels that fear is the only way that her husband will change and thinks that if she got in a car crash that would jolt him into changing.

I think this is very encouraging for Christians, to be reminded that we fight against sin for a God who loves us and who uses "kindness to lead us to repentence" not fear. And that it is Jesus' work in us that allows us to overcome sin, not our own striving and work. And that God does not expect or need us to balance up our sins, that it's all through His grace that we are accepted and will be rewarded in the end.

In reference to the muslim wife's comments, a Christian couple's love and support for each other in this area comes from Jesus and His strength. He empowers them. There is no way outside of Christ that a woman could deal with her husband's (or vice versa) betrayal like this, without the agape of Christ in her. It is impossible to show the required level of forgiveness and understanding towards someone who hurts you like that without understanding how great is your sin before God, and yet how gracious and forgiving He has been to you.

I think it's easy for Christians to fall into similar lines of thinking as these muslims. Reading that article for me was just a really good reminder of God's grace and that we need His grace more than oxygen, and how great and how good is Jesus Christ!!

I'd like to ask you to keep islamic sex addicts in your prayers. Perhaps in the desperation of finding themselves entirely powerless to this addiction, and completely unable to balance up their bad deeds with good deeds, they will hear Christ's call of love and forgiveness, and submit themselves to His grace.

God bless,
Bec

Sin cost-benefit analysis

In business whenever a new project is conceived it goes through cost-benefit analysis to determine whether it will produce benefits that are suitable for the cost involved. If there is not going to be more benefit gained than cost outlaid it typically doesn't go ahead.

I was thinking today about sin in the light of cost-benefit analysis. I think one of the things we do when we decide to sin is we ignore the 'cost' side of the situation. We only tend to see the 'benefit' that it will bring us in the immediate, and ignore the costs associated. We particularly tend to ignore the costs to other people for our sin. Costs we later have to deal with ourselves are FAR more motivating towards good behaviour.

One example would be the twerp who stole the badge off the back of my car yesterday in the church car-park. It's a hunk of plastic with some silver paint on it. Albeit it's a french hunk of plastic with silver paint, but nonetheless, still it's not a particularly practical item. So I would really question the value of having stolen it. I mean WHAT are they going to do with it?? (I can tell you what I'd like to do with it... fasten the thing to their foreheads with superglue given that they love it so much... grr mumble mumble) So benefit = negligible. However the cost to me is (a) a whole bucket load of annoyance, (b) $50 to replace it from my local friendly (read extortionate) Citroen dealer, (c) potentially have the car off the road for a few hours while it's fitted as the half broken bits and old glue will need to be cleaned up before the new one can be fitted. So cost to me is greater than the amount of benefit they could hope to get out of it. Stealing the whole car would have made MUCH MORE SENSE.

So maybe when we are tempted, we should do a bit of a cost-benefit analysis. And not just the cost to us, but the cost to others too. Is it really worth satisfying our desires when the costs are so high???


God bless,
Bec

Dethroning VISA

Have you seen Fight Club? If not, I'm sorry, I'm about to ruin the ending for you!

The movie centres around one man's existential angst. He is seeking salvation from the doldrums of working for an insurance company so he can service his credit card debt, which has been racked up by having to have everything in his apartment "Ikea perfect". He meets an enigmatic stranger and finds salvation in this "Fight Club" scenario, which basically is about a bunch of blokes getting together and rediscovering what "makes them men" (aka beating the living daylights out of each other). The fight club concept grows and groups form all over the US. At the end of the movie, the fight clubs have formed a quasi-urban-guerilla-terrorist movement, and they seek to bring salvation to the US, by unseating the culprit behind the humdrum of life - slavery to the Credit Card companies. The final scene of the movie is where you see all the credit card companies simultaneously blowing up across the skyline.

This is a rather graphic illustration of what happened in my life when Jesus saved me. Up until that point I was in the grip of 'Visa' with an unsustainable debt. I placed a lot of faith in Visa, and regularly gave offerings (interest) of $150 a month to keep the religion going. I believed that "in case of emergency" Visa would bail me out, Visa would save me. But in the day-to-day Visa was just a comfort, and a way to participate in worship of the other gods of the secular world, "at no cost".

The bible says that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19). In the greek there are two words for temple, and the one used in this context more particularly means "Holy of Holies". The Holy of Holies was where in the OT, the ark of the covenant was housed. The ark represented God's presence amongst His people - now this function is taken over by the Holy Spirit's indwelling of His people. No one went inside the Holy of Holies, except the High Priest once a year. Now there is a story in 1 Samuel 5 about an encounter between the Philistine god "Dagon" and the Ark of the Covenant, verses 1-4 are awesome:

"After the Philistines had captured the ark of God, they took it from Ebenezer to Ashdod. Then they carried the ark into Dagon's temple and set it beside Dagon. When the people of Ashdod rose early the next day, there was Dagon, fallen on his face on the ground before the ark of the LORD! They took Dagon and put him back in his place. But the following morning when they rose, there was Dagon, fallen on his face on the ground before the ark of the LORD! His head and hands had been broken off and were lying on the threshold; only his body remained."

This is what happened when God moved into my life, and the Holy Spirit took up residence in me. All the old idols started falling on their faces before Him! One particular idol that God took care of was 'Visa'. At this point it was going to take me about 3 years to pay off the debt that I had accumulated, because I was living beyond my means, and if I did manage to pay it off in 3 years that would be without saving ANYTHING, but living pay cheque to pay cheque.

God challenged me on where I was putting my faith and my trust. "'In case of emergency', who are you going to trust to look after you? Visa? Or me?"

The Lord showed Himself faithful and gracious. This was "an emergency" or at very least a very, very nasty spot to be in. I felt so imprisoned, knowing that for the next 3 years I would be a slave until I paid off my debt. However, the Lord delivered me of that debt, I was given a lump sum of the exact amount I was in debt. So I paid it off and cut up my credit card. Since then whenever there have been "emergencies" or tight spots, He has NEVER failed to provide. In addition to that first lump sum which paid off my credit card, He has miraculously produced lump sums of money when I needed them four or five times. Additionally, before starting at Bible College, He provided a part-time IT contract role that was only supposed to last 3 months, and I have now been here nearly 2 yrs! This job just doesn't exist, He put it here for me. He has also used my lovely boyfriend to prompt me and teach me how to better manage what I have. He has also taught me to be content with what I have, because I know He is good and provides for me, however much He provides - despite what I may think - is enough to meet my needs.

God has ALWAYS been faithful to provide for me, when I have been financially responsible and when I have been financially irresponsible. This is not to say that I have been able to afford to buy everything that I WANT, but I have NEVER gone hungry, I have NEVER lacked what I needed. And this has been such a beautiful and constant reminder of the goodness and faithfulness of God.

I can testify that Luke 12:22-24, 27-31 is true:

"Then Jesus said to his disciples: 'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ...Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."

We quite simply do not need to worry about these things, God will provide, because He is good, and He is our Father, and He has promised to look after us, and delights to give good gifts to His children. We just need to focus on seeking His kingdom & His righteousness.

So that is how 'Visa' was dethroned in my life. Christ set me free.

God bless,
Bec

Apologies, Repentance & Forgiveness

I am really pleased to see that one of the first things Kevin Rudd is making as PM is to make that apology to Australia’s Indigenous Community for the stolen generation debacle. It is a really good first step towards reconciliation and I hope that it really does provide us with better opportunities to address some of the problems in our Indigenous Communities such as the life expectancy gap.

Apologies are a funny thing aren’t they? I read The Five Languages of Apology a couple of years ago. I read it in an attempt to find the words or actions that I could use to clearly communicate to someone I loved how sorry I was. The book was based on the premise that just as people communicate love in different ways (ala The Five Love Languages); they also use different methods to apologise. We each have preferred languages and unless others use that particular language we don’t really ‘hear’ that they are sorry.

The five languages were:
1. Expressing Regret – a heartfelt expression of how you feel because you’ve hurt them
2. Accept Responsibility – accept that you’ve done something wrong, and don't deflect blame
3. Make Restitution – make efforts to make amends, make the person feel loved
4. Genuinely Repent – understand that the behaviour was wrong and commit to change
5. Request Forgiveness – ask for grace, understand that forgiveness isn’t a certainty, and that it is that person’s choice to forgive or not

I think that last point is the hardest; recognising that it is actually up to the other person whether they accept the apology and forgive or not. That can be really, really hard; to do everything that you can because you truly desire reconciliation and healing in the relationship, but knowing that that forgiveness bit is out of your hands.

The funny thing is that when we refuse to forgive it really only hurts ourselves in the long run. I see this in my life, I hold on to offence, and don’t forgive because I think in doing that I’m protecting myself from being hurt again. This doesn’t only impact my relationship with the person who’s hurt me, but with others as well. The tape plays in my head, “they’ll only hurt you too/again”, “how long will it take before they reject you / leave you too?” And all that achieves is that I keep myself distant and don’t open up to allow myself to experience real relationships with people, which creates a sense of rejection by itself as the tape plays, “why don’t you have better/deeper relationships with people”.

You know more than half the time I don’t think people hurt me out of malice, I think it’s thoughtlessness. I know most of the time when I hurt people it isn’t intentional, it’s just that I have SO much space in my mouth that both feet fit in there quite comfortably, sometimes things just come out of my mouth and I instantly think, “where the hell did that come from???” but the damage is done. The other source of hurt in my life is when my assumptions and expectations are not met, which is hardly anyone else’s fault. I think other conflict comes out of miscommunication, someone says one thing quite amicably, but by the time that is filtered through my life experience I hear something quite hostile.

The "narrow way" seems to be to keep opening yourself up and loving people despite it all, and leaving the possible consequence of being hurt again in God’s hands. That is not to say He gets the blame, or it’s His fault, but just trusting that in forgiving as He forgave us, and loving our neighbours as ourselves that yes it does open us up to pain, but that He is more than willing, more than capable of healing that hurt and helping us move on. He certainly demonstrated this Himself when on the cross Jesus cried, “Father forgive them” and this is the one of whom Isaiah wrote, “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” (Isa 53:3). I love that He identified Himself with us in that way, that He chose to share our suffering. I think it is a huge temptation to not forgive, but Jesus went through that temptation to not forgive and overcame it. Hebrews 4:15-16 comes to mind, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

God bless,
Bec

Corporate Prayers of Confession

I grew up in the Anglican church, but of recent years have been attending Baptist and Pentecostal churches. I'm not even sure what you'd call me now! Anglibaptacostal???? LOL. I do know I love Jesus, and I'm probably more evangelical than pente.

As a rebellious 16 year old I remember really really hating the set liturgy. I could say the words easily enough but the connection between my heart/head and mouth was uncertain. But it struck me yesterday that prayer-wise I'm a bit illiterate. I have feelings about stuff, but not always the words to express them to God in prayer. And the words of one of the ol' prayers of confession came back to me, and I saw in them the words that expressed what I needed to say to God, and had so much theological richness:

Merciful God, our maker and our judge,
we have sinned against you in thought, word and deed:
we have not loved you with our whole heart,
we have not loved our neighbours as ourselves;
we repent, and are sorry for all our sins.
Father, forgive us.
Strengthen us to love and obey you in newness of life;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
(An Australian Prayer Book, 1978: page 137)

There is another form that I also really liked:

Most merciful God, we humbly admit that we need your help.
We confess that we have wandered from your way:
we have done wrong, and we have failed to do what is right.
You alone can save us.
Have mercy on us: wipe out our sins and teach us to forgive others.
Bring forth in us the fruit of the Spirit that we may live as disciples of Christ.
This we ask in the name of Jesus our Saviour. Amen.
(An Australian Prayer Book, 1978, page 39)

I liked the following points from these:

• We are affirming who God is
• We are admitting that our sin is thought, word and deed
• We are admitting that we've sinned also by what we have omitted to do
• We are admitting that we haven't loved God as we should
• We are admitting that we haven't loved our neighbours as we should
• We are confessing and asking forgiveness (ala 1 Jn 1:8-10)
• We are admitting that we are dependent on Him to live godly lives
• We are taking seriously His word that He will forgive us as we forgive others

Generally I had the following thoughts about corporate prayers of confession:

1. I haven't heard sin talked about like this in church for ages, we focus so much on "triumphant living" and ideas like "the best is yet to come" that I fail to have succinct words that express all that these prayers of confession say.
2. Despite what I thought when I was 16, set liturgy isn't evil. It might just be a valuable tool for teaching people how to pray Monday to Saturday.
3. It is good to corporately admit sin, as we are the body of Christ, not just individuals in relationship to Christ. And it reaffirms that idea in Rm 3:23 "All have sinned", places us all equally at the foot of the cross together.

God bless,
Bec